This weekend, I found a collection of assorted writings that I've kept throughout the years. Written by me or by others, they all have some personal significance. The first, As I Watch You Sleep, was written by Diana Loomans. I first read it when I was nursing Ruby and have reread it many times since. In the author's words, I see myself...the impatient, curt Mother I swore I'd never be, but all too often catch myself being. Also, I am reminded that my words and actions are powerful, especially in Ruby's world.
Many nights, I feel compelled to go back into Ruby's room after she has fallen asleep. I marvel at her peacefulness. I listen to her breath. I apologize for my irritability. I too, question where I "lost the rhythm of the day." I thank her for teaching me and promise to do better tomorrow. And lastly, I tell her I love her just one more time.
I hope all those who read the passage are touched by it as I have been. It can be found in the book 100 Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Teach Values, which Ms. Loomans wrote with her daughter Julia.
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