Acknowledge Me, Please

Rubes and I took the pups for a walk tonight. As we strolled, a jogger approached. She was about my age, headphones on and "in her zone" I suspect. Without a smile, eye contact or a simple hello, she ran by. I shook my head and sighed. That kind of behavior just boggles my mind. She obviously saw us and had to realize that we saw her. Yet, she didn't make even the slightest effort to acknowledge us, or more fundamentally, to connect with other human beings. Even dogs sniff each other or bark when passing.

I've vented about this before in my Facebook status. At AOL, there was this long corridor between buildings. It always amazed me how many times people would pass by like zombies. So often I felt like yelling out "I SEE YOU!" just to see what they would do.

When I go for a run, I make a point to say hello or at least wave at people. I remember years ago, seeing a woman running who looked so miserable, I wondered why she was running at all. If it is that bad, go for a walk instead. The change in pace might allow that grimace to disappear. I don't particularly love running and certainly don't feel all that great doing it (usually feel great after it is over), but many times I will force a smile mid-run even if I don't feel like it. Amazingly, I start feeling less uncomfortable. And I especially make a point to say hello when running uphill and someone is coming down...no way I'm letting anyone think the hill got the best of me.

Seems to me that there are two types of people in the world -- those that emit energy and those that suck it up. The emitters, give off a positive vibe and pull you in. You feel good around them. They don't scowl, they smile. They connect with you, whether it is through their eyes, gestures or words. They certainly say hello when passing. I strive to be an emitter and that is who I want to be around. Heck, kind eyes are what first drew me to my husband.

As I venture out into my new wellness coaching business, it is critical that I am an emitter, able to draw folks in. I've seen my share of people in the fitness industry who really stink at this skill. At the gym, some of the personal trainers I see every day will walk by without a glance. I would never train with them...if you don't have the cojones to look me in the eye, there is no way I'm putting my faith in you. On the opposite end of the spectrum are those who make an effort, smile and say hello. Those are the ones I would work with.

So tonight, as the jogger passed by, I made a point to talk to Ruby about how it is important to make eye contact and acknowledge others. I explained how not only does it show confidence, but it also shows kindness and humanity. Later in our walk, a young boy rode by us on his bicycle. He said hello and Ruby looked up and said hello back. Lesson learned.

Flowing Again

If you haven't noticed, I've been struggling a little lately with blogging. The urge to write has been lacking and I'm not sure why. Maybe I haven't been moved or maybe I'm too busy, consumed with studying for my personal training certification exam at the end of this month. Part of it has to be that I exchange a lot of email with Bob throughout the day since it is our only mode of communication and connection. But truly, I think it is that I feel this need to make every post a complete essay or story, not just a quick commentary. Thankfully, my good friend Lara reminded me today of a core mantra for bloggers -- "perfect is the opposite of done." In that spirit...

I started this post last night as I watched So You Think You Can Dance. Just when I thought I had nothing to write about, a tribute to Denise Jefferson, director of the Alvin Ailey dance school who died recently of ovarian cancer, touched me. While watching this brief segment, I was struck with three strong thoughts: 1) Ms. Jefferson obviously loved what she did for a living, 2) she made a difference and 3) she was born in the same year as my Mother.

People who love their work inspire me. They have a glow about them, like they just know they are in the right place doing the right thing. It doesn't seem like work at all. I don't remember many of those types of people at AOL. Yeah, we all liked the money, but displays of true joy? Nope...none. The cynic in me says we can't all do what we love; there are bills to pay. But the new, balanced, laid off, inspired Koren says yes, we can. I am committed to no longer doing just what pays the bills, but doing what I love and making a living. I'm sure I'll have to compromise somewhere along the way, but it will be worth it.

It was also apparent that Ms. Jefferson impacted so many lives with her work. Not sure if it is the Aquarius in me or just an inner drive, but I have always wanted to make a difference. I want to help people and make their lives better. My career up to this point has failed miserably in this department and I am determined to change that. When I die, heck, even along the way, I want to know that I changed the world in some small way.

Lastly, hearing that someone my Mother's age died of ovarian cancer made me reflective and thankful. Ms. Jefferson was stunning; the kind of woman you imagine growing old and gray with grace. The kind of woman I want to be. Seeing her taken too soon was a reminder. I am blessed to have a wonderfully strong, amazing Mom as my role model, friend and sounding board. I don't tell her enough and I certainly don't thank the fates often enough for her continued good health. It is so easy to take it for granted until something happens. So, I said an extra "thank you" last night for me and my loved ones' continued wellness.

Crazy how a one-minute segment can get the words flowing...well, a one-minute segment and a gentle nudge from a good friend.