I met Bob in 2005 after both undergoing some very stressful, life-altering events. He lost his wife after 17 years of marriage. I had just divorced after ten years. He was raising his three teens alone and I was sharing custody of my two-year old.
We met on Match.com. He winked at me and there was something in his picture -- his kind eyes, or maybe his Naval uniform - that attracted me to him. A few dates and long drives back and forth between my town and his, and we both knew it was for keeps. We bought a house just eight months later. People said we were crazy, we probably were, but we knew we had found happiness.
Saying we are soulmates is corny and potentially disruptive since we both have children. If we are soulmates, what does that say about our previous relationships that spawned our children? Can you have more than one soulmate? In my marriage, I never felt the connection and understanding that I currently share with Bob, but maybe he did in his. I care not to dwell on those details. And yes, we have had our struggles...even soulmates can disagree. It isn't easy bringing families together or being separated by Naval obligations. Yet through it all, we have maintained that fundamental closeness.
Meeting Bob made me a believer in soulmates as well as a few other ideals I had previously questioned:
- White knights - Bob is chivalrous and protective
- Fate - millions of people are on Match.com and we found each other
- Honor - Bob is committed to the Navy and to his family
- Resiliency - Bob and his family have overcome the ultimate loss with grace and optimism
- Good guys - Bob is good, decent, honest and kind
What makes someone your soulmate? I would define it as feeling connected above and beyond the norm, like you've known each other all you life. Knowing what the other is thinking. Bob and I share a mental and physical energy. When we touch, it truly is electric and we often joke that our skin pH must have some sort of chemical balance. When we spoon, we just fit. Our personalities compliment each other, based in a strong foundation of similarities. Where we do differ, we make up for each other's shortcomings.
In the first year of our relationship, we had a few challenges. I had somehow contracted scabies and Bob was wonderful about it. He wasn't swayed or disgusted (I was). I also had to undergo minor surgery and remember coming to and being so comforted that Bob was there. The nurse commented that we were like "peas and carrots" and we beamed knowing that she was right. How neat that other people could see it too.
There is a book I often read to my daughter called "I Love You So..." by Marianne Richmond. It is narrated by a mother who is describing how she loves her child, but the last few pages sum up how I feel about Bob.
"I CAN'T IMAGINE life before YOU came along...me there singing senseless, no MEANING to my song. Call it MEANT TO BE or simply blessed fate, you fill my heart WITH LOVE...and for THAT I celebrate."
Happy Birthday to my other favorite Pisces.
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